Here's Why You Might Keep Making the Same Relationship Mistakes
Updated: Jul 30, 2020
If you find yourself in a cycle of unhealthy relationships, you’re certainly not alone. Many people break up with a partner only to enter a similar situation again. However, this pattern doesn’t need to become your reality. This guide will outline why you are making these mistakes and how mental health counseling services can help you avoid these issues in the future.
What Are Common Relationship Mistakes?
Everyone has their own approach to relationships, so it’s natural for you to be drawn to a certain type of partner. However, it’s also possible for you to get trapped in a cycle of unhealthy relationship patterns. While these relationship mistakes look different for everyone, there are some common situations that you might find yourself in.
These patterns can include avoiding confrontation, fighting constantly, keeping secrets, and trying to control or change your partner. You might also enter co-dependent relationships, which can lead to a lack of boundaries and a host of other issues. Some people stay in relationships in which one or both partners cheat. Again, everyone has their own set of relationship challenges, so recognizing your own is the first step toward breaking the cycle.
Why Do You Keep Making Them?
Once you recognize that you’re repeating relationship mistakes, you can then dig into the reasons why. Keep in mind that therapy is the best way to interpret your own behavioral patterns, but doing your own reflecting can be helpful as a supplement.
Behavioral health experts point to several different reasons for repeating unhealthy relationship patterns. According to Psychology Today, the first is that the human psyche enters challenging situations with a desire to solve the problem. This means that you are essentially taking on the same relationship pattern hoping for a different outcome.
The second involves the physical and chemical makeup of the brain. Basically, the brain’s neurons stick to specific pathways when you make similar decisions. Just as you’re comfortable with certain habits and thought patterns, your neurons are comfortable on these relationship pathways. So, you would need to create new patterns of thought and behavior to send the neurons on new paths. This often involves small shifts in thinking to gradually change behavioral patterns.
What Can You Do to Avoid These Patterns?
Unpacking your own relationship patterns can be challenging, whether you’re dating people who are unhealthy for you or making your own mistakes. This is why many people will need counseling to work through this process. Your therapist can help you uncover past events that triggered relationship patterns and give you the tools to move forward. However, if you’re currently in a relationship, you and your partner may benefit from specialty counseling with a relationship therapist.
Overall, your counselor will work with you to change your perspective around relationships and its role in your holistic care. This could involve assessing your expectations, helping you let go of comparison, and recognizing your own role in your relationship dynamics. They can also help you outline what you’re looking for in a partner, so you can prioritize healthier situations in the future.
If you’re looking to break unhealthy relationship cycles, the counselors at The Collective are available to help. This Denver behavioral health center offers individual and group counseling to make your mental health a priority.
You and your partner can also take advantage of their couples therapy services. Whether you’re facing issues in your relationship or experiencing a life transition together, The Collective’s team of compassionate counselors can help you foster communication and cope with life’s challenges together.
Does my insurance cover a therapist at The Collective?
The Collective is partnered with several insurance providers to make our services more accessible to you. You can verify your insurance through our website before scheduling an appointment.